A few years ago, I started writing letters to each of my girls. I kept them in a book – one for each of them – and every so often I’d write to them. Sometimes I would write about a specific, landmark event: a birthday, Christmas, learning to ride a bike. Other times I’d write about little things that stood out, made me proud or that I wanted to be able to remember. I thought I’d keep the books until they were adults and give them to them: a record of their childhood and how much we love them.
I suppose I realised between having Bunny and then Chimp how much I had forgotten. With Bunny I remember thinking I would remember everything – partly because I anally documented a lot of stuff (seriously: I had a colour coded chart recording sleep and eating patterns until she was two months old – but more on that craziness in another post)… But once Chimp arrived, I realised how many of the little things had slipped out of my memory unseen and were now lost.
Suddenly, time seemed to be on fast forward. I became incredibly conscious of how quickly both of them were growing up and how fleeting these precious years are.
So, what started as a diary of letters to each of my girls, has become a blog where – to be fair – I get to enjoy venting, ranting and sharing my viewpoints on work and life and parenting (of which there are many). At least this way, anyone who chances upon this overspill of opinion can escape with a click or a swipe, rather than having to find polite excuses or tolerate them! I think my friends will quite appreciate my new outlet.
My world revolves around my children: named here as Bunny and Chimp. Apt nicknames that sum them up perfectly. Bunny is sweet and kind and never ever keeps still. She wriggles constantly, and the only time she is still, generally, is when you find her upside down. Chimp is mischievous, and cute and funny. She gives the biggest squeeziest cuddles (when she wants to). They are both wonderful sisters – when they are not fighting, squabbling or generally annoying each other.
I worry about bringing up girls in our world, and I worry about having the right balance between being mum, being me and having a career. I want my girls to see that they can chase their dreams and be successful in whatever way they want, but I feel more and more like building a career has a higher price for my family than I am willing to pay. I don’t think I’m the only one who feels the way I do. Almost everyone I know – mum or dad – feels the same.
Everyone also seems to agree that being a parent is tough. However, it is also funny and unpredictable and bonkers… and I think the different sides of this blog reflect the many sides of my life as a mum of two girls.